DRUMS OF AUTUMN, © 1997 by Diana Gabaldon
Hanging out with Desi was one of the best times to be had. Humour was a big part of his life. Hopefully you will get a few laughs from these stories (as told by Tamara). Come back again, there are many stories to tell.
Finally!!! "BAND VAN"!(1997 or 1998)
Desi was always the adventurous type ... never passed up an opportunity to do something unique ... or better yet, funny. So when the idea of loading a bunch of musical equipment, powered by a generator, into the back of a cube van came up, he was very much into that.
Desi, Jamie, Ashley, Neil, Elton, Ryoko, a guitar, bass, drumset and tambourine later, we had Band Van.
Things started off slowly ... driving from Elton's house in East Vancouver down to Marine Drive. It was a Saturday night but the streets were quiet here. My friend October and I followed the van with giddy excitement. But it wasn't until we hit Downtown that things really started to jam. Driving behind the open roll up door was like a private concert drive-in style but the hilarity of it all was the real treat.
We took things easy, hitting streets like Main, Broadway and Granville. We ventured Downtown and through Stanley Park. By this time we had quite the caravan following and stop lights were especially fun when people would come out of stores and their homes to see what all the racket was. This was usually followed by a Mentos-style smile, laugh and nod. We were very well received.
The "gangsta rap" bassline-driven repetitive song was the soundtrack for the adventure and it wasn't until we hit Stanley Park that the boys needed a rest. Disappointed, our caravan dispersed and we were alone in the dark. It was here that the boys decided it was time to go big and hit Robson street ... on a Saturday night this was surely a suicide mission. Robson is as much teeming with cops on a Saturday night as it is people.
Starting on lower Robson it was moments before we garnered attention from all sides ... it was also mere blocks before the fuzz zeroed in. Turning a side street corner and shutting the back door was the best attempt to "hide". Two female officers pulled the van over and asked Elton to roll up the back door. Huddled like refugees sneaking into a country the boys looked sheepishly cheeky ... almost as if they closed their eyes no one would see them.
The van was cleared and we had a crowd gathered around shouting things like "Let them go!" Almost all the boys' licenses had changes of address that hadn't been made ... and for the Band Van adventure we were told there was a possible $1000 worth of fines. The officers were very cool and pooled the boys licenses into a pile and randomly choose just one ... to give a seatbelt violation ticket to. Sorry Neil. :)
Click on each picture to see it larger.
That's where it all ended. But I wish more people would do harmlessly crazy things like this. I wonder if there are people somewhere who still say "Hey, remember the time we saw that van full of guys playing music down Broadway?"
~ * ~
Desi, Jamie, Neil and I went into Canadian Tire (a Home Depot kind of store, but for cars) looking for a frisbee.
We went to the toy section. There were a few different frisbee styles to choose from. As we were deciding, I noticed a toy CB radio hanging on one of the shelves. I picked it up, pressed the button and said "cshhh (making the staticy CB sound myself) 10-4 ..."
Before I could finish I heard my own voice echoing through the entire store! Horrified, I dropped it like the plague.
But, of course, Desi HAD to pick it back up and say, "Roger that Captain!" I was so embarrassed and I vacated the area in case a staff member wanted to get annoyed with me.
As I walked over to the bicycle aisle to look at helmets, the boys started playing with a frisbee in the dishes aisle. I was just about to say something, but decided against it because they'd just say I was nagging.
So, as I was in the next aisle, not watching, suddenly
I heard this CRASH. Then Desi's voice rings out over the entire store,
"Clean up in Aisle 10!"
~ * ~
On a long drive to Las Vegas, Nevada, my Uncle Chris, my cousin Jennifer, Desi and I stopped at a drive through. It was 3 a.m. in the middle of Oregon. I'm a vegetarian and I am very picky about my food. Particularly if there's any meat in it, if meat has touched it, etc. Several family members have been laughed at for ordering McDonald's cheeseburgers with no meat for me. This time I saw a taco on the menu, so, as Desi was the driver, I asked him to ask if there was any meat on it.
Desi: "Uh, my sister wants to know if there's any meat in the taco."
Sales Person: "No, sir, it's a meat substitute."
Tamara: "What is it?"
D: "My sister wants to know what it is."
S: "I think it's made out of soy, sir."
T: "Is it cooked in the same place as the meat?"
D: "My sister wants to know if it's cooked in the same place as the meat or on a separate grill."
S: "It's a separate grill, sir."
T: "I'll get that."
D: "She'll get that. Ok ... can I get a hamburger, and can
you make sure it's not cooked anywhere near any vegetables."
One time I was waxing my legs at home. Desi, who was always fond of his butt, constantly mooning us, walked in.
He comes up to me and says, "Wax my butt!"
I said, "Get out of here, Desi, I'm not waxing your butt!"
"Aw, come on, wax my butt."
"Desi, it is going to hurt, I'm not waxing your butt."
"I don't care, I want you to wax my butt!"
"Ok, if you really want me to."
Desi had a very hairy butt. I knew I was in for a good laugh when he called out in pain when I was applying the wax. So the removal of the wax would be totally fun (for me, anyway). hehehe
"Ow, ow, ow!"
In a swift rip I tore the wax strip off and Desi flew to his feet!
"Ahhhh, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, awww!" He tried to twist around to comfort his stinging butt.
Everything went back to normal after that except for the next few weeks every time he mooned us a strip of hair was missing on his butt.
Desi was always up to something. And, of course, we were always there to tell someone about it, because he was so hilarious! And he was in his ABSOLUTE GLORY when you told the story while he was sitting right there. Anyway, the night he died, many of his cousins and aunts and uncles came over to our house. It was classic that night, everyone sitting around talking about Desi. We all agreed that at that moment he was no doubt in his glory, listening, and just loving the stories.
Typical Desi, the Adventurous: Only he could die on a remote island in Thailand, be cremated in Bangkok, have a memorial service in Vancouver, and have his ashes spread over the buffalo lands in southern Alberta, in a private ceremony presided over by a First Nations elder. I'm sure he's trying to figure out how he can top himself next.... ~ Judie